The Cinderella Crisis

Cinderella - Prince Charming & Cinderella

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I have discovered a phenomenon in women that I shall henceforth refer to as ‘The Cinderella Crisis’. Allow me to elaborate. A lot of us grew up surrounded by fairy-tales. At one stage or another we all dreamt of Prince Charming – whomever our individual Prince Charmings may have been. Reality however is far removed from the pleasant fantasies we grew up with. There are a great many more Prince Dipshits and Prince Fuckwits out there than there are Prince Charmings. In fact Prince Charmings seem to be the exception rather than the rule.

And so we find ourselves with a conundrum. One that is so contrary to what was presented to us by what we believed in that we find ourselves stumped. We learn to accept the crumbs that get thrown to us. 50 years ago men at least still had the decency to pretend to be charming for social appearances, to woe us. Now they just move in and leave their dirty socks on the bathroom floor. You’re lucky if you even get to the point where you have a shiny stone put on your finger. Let alone walk down the aisle. Marriage is entirely optional and mostly preceded by pregnancy – if after pregnancy they even bother.

We’ve become so complacent and caught up with the conformity of feminism that we completely lost touch with the essence of womanhood, the essence of what we wanted before we were told a whole lot of other things. Such interesting creatures we are. So easily distracted by pretty words and pretty ideas.

My point is, we have a whole generation of Cinderellas who never got to the ball. A generation of women who look to the media – to publications like Cosmo; shows like Oprah; celebrities like Angelina Jolie – for guidance on life, love, sex and pretty much everything in the scope of the social framework. A generation of women in constant Crisis. Women with lives more filled with drama and tragedy than with romance and family. Some are content with this but many are just hovering in the same spot throughout life without knowing why. And so the Cinderella Crisis is born. Me – I’m just one of the ones who have learnt to process that.

Which one are you?

XX
Cinderella911

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5 responses to “The Cinderella Crisis

  • kidspartyheaven

    Hm, I think I’m going to like your blog. Thanks for the pingback, I appreciate it!

    As a feminist myself, I’m not so sure it is feminism that has caused this phenomenon, I reject the idea altogether that men should be Prince Charmings and us women should be passive, subservient but beautiful Cinderellas. I try and embrace the wholeness of each gender rather than the prescribed stereotype of how we should be according to the Patriarchy. Then I go and tell little girls stories like Cinderella at parties… hmm. That’s why I’m investigating changing them up a little and making dear Cinders a little less… well wet, and Mr Charming a little less perfect in every way.
    Look forward to more posts from you x

  • cinderella911

    Glad you liked it! Let me explain what I meant by the conformity of feminism, think you’ll understand my point a little better. Many many moons ago, before we burned our bras and stood up for ourselves, there existed a certain standard that men were forced to uphold by society. As women progressed though it seems that now we still end up having to fulfill all the roles we had to previously, with the added bonus of having to be the breadwinners as well and all that whilst only getting about 2% of the respect we deserve. And men, because of the rise of feminism have either ditched their courtous manners altogether cause they occasionally get their heads bitten off for being sexist, or use it as an excuse for being lazy, uncommital and rude.

    I agree with you on being against the prescribed stereotypes though. I’m not old fashioned but I’m not a feminist either, I believe that each relationship should define its own rules and that two people simply need to find a balance that works for them.

    Having said all of that, I think that women are confused because we grow up with the fairy-tales and then get thrust into a very different reality creating expectation and dissappointment. Ending up so lost and confused that we turn to the media and other equally disorientated women for advice. The struggle for women is to find a happy place amidst the crisis and confusion, finding herself amidst the dreams, social expectations and the reality of life.

  • TheLoop

    I have discovered (with some insight from cinderella911) a phenomenon in men that I shall henceforth refer to as “The Prince Charming Crisis”. Allow me to elaborate. A lot of us grew up surrounded by fairy-tales. At one stage or another we all dreamt of Cinderella – whomever our individual Cinderellas may have been. Reality however is far removed from the pleasant fantasies we grew up with. There are a great many more Cinder-WTF-planet-is-she-from-ellas and Cinder-am-I-a-bug-or-is-it-just-her-expectations-ellas out there than there are Cinderellas. In fact ‘Cinderella’ seem to be the exception rather than the rule.

    And so we find ourselves with a conundrum. One that is so contrary to what was presented to us and in what we believed in that we find ourselves stumped. We learn to accept the cake that gets demanded from us and then eaten. 50 years ago women still had the decency to accept that real Prince Charmings do not come with a mansion and servants, and would not use social marketing tricks to woo them. Now they just move in and criticise your cave, taking some of your clothes with them as they leave. You’re lucky if you even get to the point where you touch the other person’s soul. Let alone meet your best friend. Marriage is entirely.. well, it is the entirety of it, and mostly preceded by family blackmail – hardly a shadow of what it once was.

    We’ve become so complacent and caught up with the excitement of long-overdue female emancipation that we completely lost focus on the need to get on with male emancipation, the essence of rediscovering the real wholeness blurred by conflicting expectations and role-models on how to go about it. Such interesting creatures we are. So easily distracted by things.

    My point is, we have a whole generation of Prince Charmings who really was alone during the ball. A generation of men who look to the sky – to constellations like Orion; signs and omens; the whisper of history in the stars – to show the way on life, love, meaning and pretty much every responsibility needed to exist harmoniously in a modern social framework. A generation of men at constant Wander. Men with lives more filled with misunderstanding and meaningless affectations than with true partner-ships. Some are content with this but many are just trapped in the same scenario throughout life without understanding why. And so the Prince Charming crisis is born. Me – I’m just one of the fools who dream for simplicity to be real, and that the dust on my dancing shoes would turn out to be magical, and for the next ball to have a happy ending.

  • TheLoop

    hope you don’t mind the licence.. it was fun to write that little essay of contrast!!

    I think both genders find relationships equally difficult because it takes two to tango.. however, society still have some ways of going to heal the ancient divide that was spalked to cripple our gender roles and gave rise to the Patriarchy, to use kidspartyfromheaven’s term. Here, women still have to face a battle sometimes to be heard or taken seriously.. unbelievable for our supposed modernity. I have great respect for my sister gender, knowing what they have gone through and still do.

    Anyway, back to Cinderella: we both in our tales inferred to the group of ‘true’ Cinderellas and Prince Charmings.. we ALL believe that, and we ALL would include ourselves in that special group, because it is defined only by our own fantasy! Now that I’m not constrained by the format of your essay 🙂 I can say that I believe the first big hurdle to overcome with relationships is to accept the difference between reality and ideals.

    I thought about that stuff a lot the past while, and enjoyed reading your piece.. great work!

    • cinderella911

      “hope you don’t mind the licence.. it was fun to write that little essay of contrast!!”

      Not at all, I found that quite amusing. I am flattered that you thought highly enough of it to write your own spin-off. I write for nothing other than personal enjoyment so if others can have this kind of fun or draw this kind of inspiration from my words then my work here is done. 😉

      I agree most with your reference between reality and ideals. I think however ideals could also be substituted with expectations. I particularly loved the scene in a movie called ‘500 days of Summer’ where they had the reality and the expectation playing off in split-screen. It really is such a contrast and somehow we must find a middle ground between what we can have and what we dreamed of. xx

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